2017

I think, this year is different.

I know I’m different.

As at this time in 2016, I was busy evaluating, writing, making resolutions and elaborate plans on how to achieve the goals I had set for myself. I had everything nailed and too many idealistic thoughts to understand how reality truly worked.

So I won’t do what I did last New Year’s day.

I can’t bring myself to write in my journal.

I haven’t bought a diary for this year. Something different because as at this time last year I already had a diary prepped to document all the eventful things that would take place in 2016 and trust me, not much of 2016 was eventful.

I can’t bring myself to talk too much or make resolutions or try to evaluate or over analyze things.

And honestly, I may not write another post on this blog for the rest of this year simply because I don’t have much to write about.

But come December 31st, 2017, I’m going to come online and I’m going to have hell of a lot to write about the awesome year I’ve had and how it happened.

Till then though, happy new year and I wish you a great year ahead.

First For You.

First Born Association of Nigeria….read this.

WORDS of A Young Mind

Everybody thinks its cool, being the first born, male or female. If you are from a royal home, that automatically makes you heir to the throne. You get more of the inheritance they think, or maybe yes we(first born association of Nigeria) actually do, maybe we get to be respected and treated as gods, maybe our words are held in high esteem, maybe we get to sit in the front sit of daddys car, or get to have the biggest piece of meat or largest plate of rice, maybe we get to keep late nights without being questioned, maybe we get to have our own chair in the palour like daddy does, maybe we get to be the first in everything, death inclusive.

However, not to debunk your thoughts or assumptions, but to show you that not all bright light is sunlight, sometimes it can be lantern, in this case…

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Growth

I started this blog sometime last year and I did so with one goal in mind: GET MORE CLIENTS!!!

After setting up the blog I added some reviews and articles to showcase the quality of my writing. That way, while pitching potential clients, I could direct them here to get a feel for my work.

A year and some months later, I’m here writing a post for this blog and I’m tired of the grind. The content mills, the heartless writing and more importantly, I’m tired of the misery.

In fact, I got tired months ago. I pulled down some of the articles that were on the blog originally and I started writing more poetry and talking more about things that I actually care about….whenever I did bother to write anything besides poems (for this blog that is).

I started out with freelancing by being very unprofessional, young and naive and you could say, I was in a hurry. Too much of a hurry to grow and that is never good for anyone.

But this post isn’t about writing. It’s not even about freelancing. It’s about me. It’s about growing, learning and striving to make all my dreams come true. It’s about me turning 18 in a couple of days – September 10th. This post is about how far I’ve come and where I’m going next.

So far, within the space of a year of trying my best to actually commit to something, I’ve learned a lot and here’s a summary of everything I’ve learned so far.

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These are my thoughts

UgoTalksAlot

Let me paint you a picture

It’s a Monday morning and you are a man. You and your wife, wake up this Monday morning. You both leave the house together. But you’re a man, so your morning routine is simple. Take your bath get dressed, eat your breakfast  and go. Your wife on the other hand, because she’s a woman and it is “her duty”… she wakes up earlier than you. She is a woman, SHE must see to the children. SHE must prepare the meal. Yet somehow she gets all this done in time, to have you and the children satisfied and still manage to look put together.

You will tell me it’s the way things are supposed to be.

Yes, she is the mother of your children. Biology says she carries the children for 9 months, biology says she breast feeds, biology says she’s generally better at multitasking…

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The Confession

Dancing under the moonlit skies

The flaming bonfire ignites our eyes

With your flippant gaze

And my sullen caress,

We know our hearts are under duress

Call this madness, call this sin

In this lustful moment

I have found my being

 

Why do we live?

Why do we die?

What is true love without painful desire?

I ponder these things, while you gawk at the moon

“Don’t worry my love”

These words make me swoon.

Your innocence is so sublime

In that moment I know your heart is mine

 

In this patch of grass

There’s me and there’s you

In a world of lust,

And yes, there’s a rubber too

I forget the heavens above

“Damn Him and His laws”

I think slightly about Hell’s grim

“Don’t worry my love”

And my heart is stricken

In this moment, I know I must sin.

 

Why must all good things end?

Our magic is over and now my heart is filled with contempt

I hate me and I despise you

For this thing that we made us do

I regret your seductive gaze

Perhaps you’d hate me for my pious ways

Perhaps you’d mock me for feeling remorse

Perhaps you’d try once more to indulge my lust

For now my guilt weighs on me

For now I must go to church.

Farewell my one-night love

 

Father forgive me for I have sinned

This isn’t my first, twentieth or my last confession

I have sinned before and now again

When I think of it, my heart breaks with pain

Forgive me because I am such a wretch

Forgive me because I did not resist seduction

Forgive me because my thinking was flawed

Forgive me, for I thought “Damn Him and His laws”

Forgive me Father for I cannot repent

I have broken my oaths of righteousness

Forgive me for I am far from Holy

Forgive me because my heart is lustful

Forgive me because I have mocked your mercy

Forgive me because I have betrayed you to death

Forgive me because I see a man by the door

Forgive me because I recognize that slutful grin

Forgive me because he is beautiful and I am stricken

Forgive me not just for what I’ve done

Forgive me for what I’m about to do.

Forgive me Lord, for hurting You

– By Rukky Kofi